A friend of mine once told me, "Just be a beacon of light to everyone especially to him". It got stuck in my head but at that time, I was still too angry to accept what she just told me. I know I was doing the right thing for everyone else, but I had hatred in my heart for him.
As months went by, I realized that I cannot keep hating him forever. Anger and hatred... these are the very source of my own frustration, depression and general stress. I prayed really hard to rid myself of these feelings. It is a heavy load to carry for the rest of my life. It slowly kills every aspect of the human being... the physical, emotional and spiritual aspects.
Slowly but surely, little by little, I was able to transform anger into compassion. I think I can say that it is now possible for me to forgive him for his weaknesses. I believe that it is now possible as opposed to what I thought before that it is impossible for me to forgive him for what he has done. I must admit though that I cannot say that I have completely forgiven him. I am taking baby steps. It is not easy to do that but I am on my way, step-by-step.
As for being the Beacon of Light, just do the right thing and you'll be alright. Do not do anything to hurt people by your words and actions. Do your duties as a mother. Do your job or vocation conscienciously. Be nice to him but keep your distance. It's quite a challenge but it is possible. It will liberate you. I am on my way to emotional freedom.
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