My Story

I only found out about it last year. They have been going on for 3 years, or maybe more. How could he have done such a thing? And we have 3 kids. Didn’t he even think about them? How could he have bastardized our marriage?

It was the worst thing that I have ever experienced. Being betrayed by my own husband. The one who was supposed to stand by my side through thick or thin. The one who took a vow with me. The father of my three young children. The only man that I ever loved.

When I found out about it, I had an anxiety attack. I couldn’t move my hands, I hyperventilated and I felt like I was going to puke.

Days passed and I wasn’t able to sleep, I wasn’t able to eat. It went on for a month. Oh yes, I lost a lot of weight and I looked like a living dead person, a zombie.

Every now and then every single day, I felt like my heart would stop beating and I would stop breathing whenever thoughts come to my mind about how they did “it”, the sexual acts. I thought my crying fits would never end. I actually felt like I was going to die.

He actually blamed me for everything. He blamed me for what has become of him. I’ve read dozens of articles and books about betrayal and this is always the case, the culprit spouse always blamed the innocent spouse. Up to this day, he is not remorseful. I don’t think he ever will.

I thought about my children. I told them what was going on for I couldn’t lie to them. We’ve been lied to for the longest time. I told them that their father loves someone else and that he doesn’t love their mommy anymore. At that time, my eldest son was only 7 years old, my only girl was 5 and my youngest child, a boy, was just 2 years old. They were actually worried already about what’s happening to me. My eldest son asked, “What’s her name Mommy?” I told him the name. He said, “I hate that name Mommy.” He continued with, “Don’t worry Mommy because I will love you forever.” My daughter just responded by giving me the warmest hug that she could ever give and tears rolled down her cheeks. My youngest child, he was just too young. He just smiled and kissed me. I explained to them that from then on, it’s just going to be the four of us.

I took my strength from these three children. I love them dearly. Whenever they would see my sad or crying, they would crawl by my side to hug me. At times they would just draw pictures for me with the caption, “I love you Mommy”.

I wanted my children to see me as a strong woman. After a few months of sulking, I started redoing myself. I ate sensibly. I tried to learn new things. I took the kids out on dates. I resigned from my full-time job so that I can become a full-time mom. It’s just me, and the kids now and life is so much better.

This is my story and this is what I want to share with you... my experiences and how I made it through.