The First Few Steps

The first thing that I did after I found out about the extramarital affair and after our confrontation was to contact my mother, my aunt who had the same experience and my closest friend. I had to let people I care about and who care about me know. I admit that at that time, I needed all the help that I can get. The pain was so unbearable and I had to share it with those who care to listen. Not that I want them to bear some of the pain but for me just to unload it and listen to their words of wisdom. Somewhat like a form of informal counselling. I talked to a lot of people whom I trust, the more I talked the more that I became stronger even if it’s just bit by bit. There was no use in denying what happened anyway.

Crying is a form of releasing and oh yes, I cried a lot. Crying is therapeutic. I often found myself talking on the phone with someone then suddenly, I’d burst into tears. Walking is also very therapeutic and during that time, I would walk a lot. It’s a relaxing and grounding exercise as well. I’d walk for 30 minutes at a time for about twice a day. While walking, I would contemplate on my situation and just enjoying the sights while walking is a beautiful experience in itself that I often found myself in some kind of meditative state instead of just contemplating about my situation. The funny thing is, in those meditative states, I felt like I was even blessed with what happened to me. Positive thoughts started running through my mind. I’ll write more about that in another post.

These little simple methods are the first few steps that I took. Bit by bit, I got stronger. I often fell back off track but I always made sure that I moved back on track again into recovery. If the women before me who went through the same thing were able to recover and make it on their own, why can’t I? And if I made it, why can’t you? ‘til my next post...